Turner's Babysitters

Turner went over to Kelly, Cristina, Christopher and Adrianna's on my birthday so that Torrey could take me out for a nice dinner.

Turner has now made his rounds through the Larson side of the family for being babysat. Had to make sure that happened before I took up the offers of some of the friends...It is so nice to have people to watch our munchkin so we can make sure our marriage is strong so we can love him best.

So, I have a completely NEW life

Dec 15 of 2006 is the day my whole life started to change and I never knew that I would have a COMPLETELY different life.

I am going to reminisce a bit and share my journey.

Let's see, it really all started back on October 10, 2004 when I was having supper with Hosanna, at Chipotle on 104th and Federal, before our single's care group. We talked to long and rushed out of there. We were traveling down Federal toward 92nd, the light had just green and the truck in front of me was going and then slammed on his brakes and I hit him. There was a chain reaction that included 5 cars total. A car behind me hit me, I hit the truck, the truck hit the car in front of him which pushed it into the car in front of it.

My car was the only car that was even damaged, mine for fact ended up TOTALED.

I got out of my car and the first one I thought to call was my dad. He and mom were headed into a movie. I was surprised that they didn't come, but I guess I reassured them that it was fine. I hadn't really looked at how messed up my car was yet and honestly didn't until my parents showed up at Paul's house.

I then called Paul to let him know I was going to be late as I was in an accident. My friend Steven came to be with me and offer his services if I needed a ride. I told him I was fine so he went back to care group to update everyone.

After I called my dad, the guy in the truck got out and I asked him if he was a Christian as he had some bumper stickers and a hat on that suggested he might. He said he was, so I asked where he attended church and he said Faith. We just kept talking until the police showed up and asked us to move our cars into the gas station right next to us. We were the only ones detained.

The police asked me if the car was okay to drive and I said it was (not sure what any of us were thinking). The police issued us our tickets and left, but we stayed and talked. I liked this guy right from the start and thought he was cute and noticed he had no ring (I was really in the habit of checking that on guys - terrible).

After we were done talking I went to care group. I was pretty sore and was getting a bruise on my chest for the seat belt but still hadn't seen the REAL damage to my car. I was feeling so bad for hitting this guy that I was thinking of making him some cookies and sending them to him. I never did.

At the end of Care Group my parents showed up and told me that I could not drive my car home (I had NO headlights), so Steven took me home.

Forward ahead to November 27, 2006.

My friend told me she joined a dating website and that it was Christian. I had been on too many, unfortunately, and didn't trust them, so I logged on to verify that she was safe. While I was on there, this guy sends me an instant message. He looked really familiar and so I asked him if he drove a green truck, and he said that he didn't. We continued talking and did for several days that I ended up getting a month membership to continue talking to him.

We talked for a few weeks and he kept asking me out for a coke, but I didn't feel comfortable with that. He did call me at home and we chatted and then all of a sudden, he fell off the face of the earth.

I had told my friend Holly that this man wasn't going to hurt me like the others had. I told her that I was going to go to his store where he worked and confront him.

December 15, 2006 provided the perfect opportunity as our church was doing a fundraiser at Chik-fil-a (which is right next to where HE works and also next to Chipolte) and I needed to shop for food for Christmas as I was hosting the Larson Christmas which was happening the very next day.

I had decided that I was going to do my shopping and go through his line if he was there. I walked in and saw that he was working and went about my shopping. I was so nervous about what I was going to do, but I was going to stand up for myself.

I got all my items and saw there were two lanes open. One was free and his was filled so I hung out in an aisle until he was free. Once he was free, I went to his lane and he was very friendly and said, "Hello, how are you today?" I said, "I am great and I am Lynette." At this point he lost his calm demeanor and appropriately freaked out and tried to tell me what happened. I told he has no need to apologize and that I just wanted to say hello.

I am walking away with my purchases and he again apologizes and says he will call me later. To that I just think - WHATEVER. I thought he was a JESUS freak and was trying to hard as his apron was plastered with Jesus periphinelia.

I get to my car and start to put my bags in when I noticed I got two bags that belonged to the customer before me. I sat their struggling, not because I wanted to keep them, but because I didn't want to go face him again. It took all that I could muster just to go in the first time. I finally get the strength I need to go back in and give them back. He got all flustered again and just kept apologizing.


I expected NOTHING to transpire, but I did what I needed to.

Jump to December 20, 2006

Well, he actually did contact me via instant message and asked me to meet him at Applebees on the 27th. I agreed to do so.

December 27, 2006

I am sitting at Applebees on 104th & I-25 waiting for him. They asked to seat me and I said that I would wait in the front. I didn't want to sit down and then have to buy something if he didn't show up. I sat, and sat, and sat. I figured I was being stood up when the phone rang at the bar and I said crap...that is him and I should have left 5 minutes ago when I said I would give him 5 more minutes. Sure enough, it was him and now I had to wait.

He got there about 15 minutes later. He had gone to the Applebees on 120th & I-25. If he had come in and said I went to the wrong one, he wouldn't have gotten anywhere, but he came in and apologized for making me wait and thanked me for coming.

We sat and talked and he apoloigized for discontinuing communication with me and explained why he had done it. We then continued to talk about interests and found we had a lot in common. We ended up closing down the restaurant and he walked me to my car and opened the door. I was so afraid he was going to try to kiss me that I got in the car. He then leaned down and asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and keep talking and I told him I think we both should just go home.

Not even 9 hours later he called and asked me out again.....thus begins the rest of the changes in my life.

March 4, 2007 - Engaged
July 14, 2007 - Married
February 2008 - find out we are pregnant
October 15, 2008 - Lynette stops working in preparation for Turner
October 28, 2008 - We become parents of Turner
December 31, 2008 - Lynette finds out that MNGi does not want her PT so she will be quitting Jan 20, 2009

All of this to share that there isn't anything that looks like what my life was on like December 14, 2006 and now I am trying to figure out how to do my new job of homemaker.

Please Lord help me be dilligent and wise in taking care of our home so that I can glorify you in everything that I do to serve my family. Help us be wise in our finances to pay our bills and allow me to provide extra income as the need arises. Thank you for your faithfulness and care for us. Help me to continue to see that you love me more than I love Turner and that you will provide for me far better than we could provide for our family.

Mom and Dad with our 2 day old

As many of you may know, I am the photographer and not the one that likes to have her photos taken, but I have been working at that with my niece and nephews because I don't want to never have pictures with them. I am who I am and God uses me in whatever shape I have.

So now that I have a son, I definitely will be taking pictures with this cute little man because I want to be able to document my time with him at each special stage. the fun part will be getting my husband to take pictures a little closer up. He seems to like to take them so they show more of my body then I feel is necessary. :)


Here are my beautiful blue eyed boys. My heart just melts when I look at the two of them.

It is amazing how you can fall in love all over again in a very different way when you see the man you married with your child.

It is also amazing how much our relationship has gotten better since this little guy. There are still those areas where sin takes over, but just knowing that we need to have a dedication to each other because Turner needs to see that makes us strive even harder. That actually sounds really terrible to have to admit, but God will use anything to help us see the need for Him in our lives.

Home at last

Yesterday was a great day for me to come home. I felt so much better and I was able to get Turner to nurse well twice...well that was the end. My little boy prefers his dad so much that he will SCREAM when I try to feed him. The only way that I seem to be able to get him to eat now is if I pump and let Torrey feed him. As you can all imagine, this is causing me great distress and tears. I want to have this time with my child and he doesn't want me. To top it off the rest of my milk came in last night and I couldn't get him to eat from me at all so had to get up several times to pump as my breasts are huge and hurting.

Please pray for us as we figure out how to adjust. I am thrilled that Turner loves daddy and vice versa, but I want him to love mommy too.

Because of our nap together yesterday, Torrey also really wants him to sleep with us now, so we had him between us and Torrey just held on to him all night. That used to be me, so with emotions going nuts, my son not nursing from me and my husband holding my son and not me in the night I am a great big mess today.

I am certain all of this will work and once I have a better handle on my emotions things will be great, but right now everything just appears bleak as many of you mothers have probably felt. Just pray for me please.

1 Year later

Wow, I can't believe that I never posted this. I meant to and had it started and everything.

Our first anniversary was very nice. Torrey really did a good job finding a hotel for us to stay at. His main focus was to find a nice bathtub so that I could soak.

He took me up to Longmont's Raddison and had the romantic package. We had a very nice dinner and then I gave him a massage which put him to sleep. He had been stressed and it really helped him relax as well as me.

The next day he took me to two of my favorite places to eat - Joe's Crab Shack and Carabas.

Here is the picture from Carabas.

From 2008_07_14_1stAnniversaryPicture

Fireproof

On Friday night Torrey and I went with some people from church to see Fireproof. We have enjoyed the other files that Sherwood Baptist has put out but we must say that this one is our favorite so far.

It was very interesting to watch all the men from our group. They all were crying at various points in the movie. I expected to have cried just due to my emotional state, but no tears ever came. Must be a time where I am being tough instead of soft.

For all of you out there, it is a must see. It is so incredible to see the plan of salvation presented so clearly, to have a clean film, to have marriage addressed in such a positive way, etc.

GO GO GO....

Answer to prayer

The time is getting so much closer where we will get to see and hold our little Turner. I am getting more and more excited and less fearful which doesn't make any sense to me.

Torrey and I were able to get away a few weeks ago with my family for a nice vacation and then we stayed a little longer to just have time together. It was much needed for many reasons. We needed to be able to talk about our upcoming plans in regard to Turner, we needed to rest and get rid of some stress, we needed to be able to "fall" in love more deeply.

We were able to do all of these and some and it was a great time away with the man that I love.

We were able to conclude that my job is too stressful right now and is impacting me, Turner and our marriage and we need to make a change. Our goal from the start was for me to work until Turner arrived, but we started to reconsider that because money isn't worth our marriage or health.

We left our vacation willing but still uncertain as to what God wanted us to do. I proposed to Torrey that I try another time to talk to my company and see about reducing my hours enough to make it less stressful but not too much so I lose my benefits. I told him that I was willing to quit if that is what he really wanted as he cannot lead if I am unwilling to follow. He told me that he is willing to see how God answers in regard to my company accepting less hours. I just got a new boss who is not a fan of kids, so I didn't expect the results to go in my favor yet also wondered if he would consider it as our team is small and my other colleague is having the need to be out as her father is dying.

I gave it a go and asked my boss if he would be willing to consider it and shared that my husband was desiring me to quit due to the stress but I wanted to try for less hours first to see if that helped. He heard me and we talked to HR and since it isn't a medical reason at this time it was in his hands to accept or deny. Well, he accepted and starting this week I no longer have to work on Friday's and can still work from home 2 days a week. I am not sure what the second day will be as my days are filled with meetings, but I will figure something out.

While I was checking into this, Torrey also verified with his insurance that if there was a reason for me to quit if I would be covered under his insurance. They said there is no preexisting clause that would exclude me from being covered. So, we are in a good place for many things right now. I have my reduced hours and working from home, we are ready financially for this even though it will be much tighter, and if I need to quit now, I will have coverage.

It feels really nice to have options that help our family. Keep praying as the time is getting closer and I have been feeling more ill in the third trimester than I have all the rest of the time.

Anniversary Presents and Outings

For our anniversary I wanted to do something special for us both as well as try to stick with something traditional for the first anniversary (paper). I decided that since I have not had time to edit all our pictures so that also means that we have none ordered or hanging on the wall that I would take one of my favorites and get it oil painted and change up the picture display in our house. I ordered this done and they sent it to me within a few days as well as upgraded it to a larger size for free and I used a coupon to get 20% off as well. I was very pleased with the results and think the display will be great once I finish it up.


I decided to try to wrap it on the wall and had it all done up nice when right when Torrey pulled up from work the whole display fell off the picture. I quickly had to put it all back up and determined to listen to my sister and allow him to open it early as he would either get to do it or wake up and find it done for him. He read his card first and then unveiled it and just stared at it for a while. I think he was pleased with what he saw. He really didn't say much.

Torrey whisked me away Sunday afternoon up to Longmont to stay at the Raddison. It was a HUGE room that had a nice big jet tub. He knows how much I have wanted to just sit and soak in a tub during my pregnancy and our tub is small...it works, but this was a nice treat. With this room he also bought a romantic package that was dinner for two followed by champagne and strawberries. He was disappointed in this part as they did not have the champagne nor strawberries in the room as they were supposed to and when he went to ask for the champagne, he felt bad asking for the strawberries too. I have a very sensitive hearted man.

Our supper was nice as we were one of the only ones out on the patio and had some very tasty food. They didn't have cheesecake to finish up the meal, but we didn't need it as I had a special treat in our room for later anyway.

Before we ordered I asked to go back to the room and was able to bring Torrey his medication to help throw off what I was up to. I went back and set up the basket that I had put together filled with some of his favorite treats and then a basket full of things to give my honey a special treat from head to toe.

When I got back, we ordered and he had a nice juicy steak and I got some tuna. They both were very good but we were unable to finish them.

Torrey needed to make a phone call after we were done (which I am still uncertain what that was for), so I went back to the room to draw him a bath and to setup 7 candles (for our month/year we got married and for the perfect number).

When Torrey got back, I washed his hair and then did a massage that ended on his feet. If any of you know me, I HATE feet so much. My honey's feet had been hurting and so much stress can be released in a foot massage. My dear man was so relaxed and I felt so happy. He got my undivided attention for more than 2 hours where I just pampered him as best I could.

The other fun thing to the room was that it had a sleep number bed and FEATHER PILLOWS. I always bring mine with whenever I leave home and I didn't even need it as they had a bed full of pillows. I have not slept so well in a long time. I don't even think that I remember waking up to use the bathroom.

The next morning we slept in and enjoyed the garden area at the hotel. When we left, Torrey took me to Joe's Crab shack for lunch and then we went by Hallmark where he spent tons of time looking for things.

After we left there we came home for a bit to take a nap. I can hardly make it through a day without a little nap. When we woke up, he had one more thing planned for me. He took me to Carrabba's for supper. He knows it is one of my all time favorites. We had such a nice conversation and time together.

When we got home, he lavished me with the gifts that you see in this picture. (still not knowing what the phone call was about and still being told there is something that he hasn't done/given me yet.....my man likes to delay things and it drives me nuts as I want to know.

We enjoyed one of the Hallmark movies that he got for me and crashed for a wonderful first anniversary.

The below picture is one of the gifts he got me that is for Turner. I also gave him a gift that goes towards Turner's room as well. The basket that all his stuff was in I thought we could use in there for his laundry or just to organize his things.

Once I know what the phone call was all about or what is still to come, I will update you all.

Marriage is about Jesus

I am learning so much about marriage and how some of my ideas of what marriage is were so far off.

Torrey is the love of my life and I cannot imagine not being with him, but there are days where I wonder how to take the next step. It is on those days that I know that I need more of Jesus.

Torrey is human and will continue to disappoint and hurt me and I am wrong to think he can be my all, but it is so easy to take the man you love and put him so high on a pedestal that they can do nothing but fail you.

God is the only one that will never leave us or forsake us, so what am I thinking to not turn to him first to better understand the man He has provided me.

I can tell you that I have that in mind more and more each day. The best thing that I can do for my handsome Torrey is to love Jesus more with each day.

I am so thankful for the many truths and encouragements and even the admonishments He provides me in His word. I have so much to learn and I appreciate going to Jesus and having Him tell me where I am failing and what I need to correct rather than assume that it is always my love's fault. It is also much easier to hear it from Jesus than to hear it from Torrey. Why is that? no idea.

Father's day for Torrey

Well, like Mother's Day, Father's Day did not turn out quite as I expected, but it was very nice.

After church we went over to my sister's to have pot roast with my dad. We stayed and chatted and held little Simon for a while and then Torrey and I needed to leave so that we could prepare for VBS, soccer and have our own time together.

I had planned on making him a meal, but the events of the family work day at our house had me wiped out so I didn't get everything for Torrey done. I was glad that I had gotten the shopping done that I needed for the day.

Torrey and I had a great afternoon together. We sat outside in our swing and just talked. It was nice to have a day with him and discuss our future and our past and our hopes and dreams for our little one. We were both able to conclude that we really want me home and we will do whatever it takes so that we raise and nurture our child and not anyone else (not that there are not others that influence our child as we have a great family).

Torrey's gift was odd to some from what I heard, but it was totally my husband. He ended up crying (which isn't anything odd for him) after he read the card from the baby. He usually cries after he reads the card from the dog, but not this time. I think the Dog might officially be become only a dog.

Oh, and yes there is an I Love Mommy outfit in there, but it was a buy one get one free and so far we have no Mommy things and tons of Daddy things. :D

Peaceful Backyard

For our wedding we received some gift cards to Home Depot and we used them to get the swing and the gazebo for our backyard. We just got them set up as we purchased them at the end of the season for a GREAT discount in price that allowed us to get both of them.

We haven't finished anchoring the gazebo yet as it took me more than thirty minutes to put one anchor into one leg. UFFDA.

We have entertained only a couple times since putting it up. We had another couple over that just recently got married and then for Memorial day, we had my family over. The day was nice until it was time for everyone to come over and then we ended up with rain. It didn't spoil our fun. Mom and I played Badminton in the yard and the guys got a fire going in the pit. It made us long for camping and boy did we smell like he had been camping when it was all over.

Torrey and I enjoy sitting in the backyard and having our meals, taking a nap in the swing, brushing the dogs or just being. It is nice to have a place to go that feels so relaxing. We just pretend that we are in the country as this might be the closest that we get outside of vacations.

My Candy Letter to my Bit-O-Honey

Torrey got several cards for Valentine's day and presents to go with them.

His first was from the dogs and they gave him some stuffed dogs that matched them (black & white).

His second gift was the book "Guess how much I love you." This is one of my favorite books and I give it to everyone of my nephews and niece when they come into the world. I decided that Torrey should have one too.

His third gift was a candy letter and with it he got two old fashioned candy jars. One of them holds candy to help him on evenings when his blood sugar drops and he needs something, the other is when his mood drops and he needs encouragement. Here is the note that was attached.

My Bit-O-Honey,

I Skored the day I met and married you, but I would never have guessed that the day I went through your line at Safeway. I thought you were a Nerd and boy oh boy did I Snicker after I left. But I have now come to know that the Goober I first saw was a Life Saver to so many people because you are unafraid to share the truth of Jesus.

Even though we don’t have 100 Grand in savings, I do hope that our Almond Joy will bring us a Baby Ruth and we together can be the Three Musketeers until God will bring us more and more Sugar Babies. We will teach our children to invest their Pay Day and to love and honor God.

You are such a Fun Dip and hope that we will get to take trips to the Milky Way and sit back together and see the Starbursts in the sky and be Carefree together, but for now, let’s take a “visit” to Israel and be Sweethearts together.

You are my Hubba Bubba boyfriend, and I want to get my Hugs and Kisses from you and you alone both Now & Later and forever.

Love you Mounds & Mounds,

Your Tootsie Roll


His last card was a poem from God and I fixed his Israel watch and gave him a video "Walk where Jesus Walked."

God’s Valentine Gift
By Joanna Fuchs
God’s Valentine gift of love to us
Was not a bunch of flowers;
It wasn’t candy, or a book
To while away the hours.
His gift was to become a man,
So He could freely give
His sacrificial love for us,
So you and I could live.
He gave us sweet salvation, and
Instruction, good and true--
To love our friends and enemies
And love our Savior, too.
So as we give our Valentines,
Let’s thank our Lord and King;
The reason we have love to give
Is that He gave everything.

Torrey and I went to Carabas to eat and then went to MadCap Theatre to laugh our heads off. We had a great Valentine celebration and determined that next year we would celebrate after the day as it would be cheaper and not so time consuming. Had we not called ahead for seating at Carabas, we would have waited 90 minutes. What surprises me is that people were doing it.

There's no place like home

My trip to San Francisco last week turned out to be a good trip despite the fact that I would have rather stayed home and been with my honey for my birthday.

I had the opportunity to talk with my "boss" about my position and what she desires my position to be. It didn't start out great, but I feel that at the end we both understood each other and better knew how to help the Automotive division move forward.

While I was in California, I got the pleasure of seeing some of my friends, so I really didn't have a lot of time to be on my own.

I went out for Sushi with my friend Kevin and we got caught up since the last time we had seen each other. We are both struggling in our careers right now so we got to spend some time sharing ideas and possibilities.

For my birthday, I had so many people call me and send me emails that I felt truly loved. There were people that I never would have thought would have known, that poured out their care on me. After my conference was over, I snuck out and caught a taxi to the Ferry station and then took it over to Larkspur where my friend Patrick picked me up. He and Ric treated me to a nice meal at a quaint little restaurant in San Rafael and then we went back to their home and Patrick had made me a cake, so they sang to me and we talked for a bit. It was nice to stay in a home and not a hotel.

The best part of the week was coming home, but I the expectations of coming home change a bit when you have someone to come home to.

I was so excited to see Torrey, but I was also incredibly tired from traveling for 8 hours. When I got home, my knight came out and got my bag. I came in to my room and on the bed was a cute little "stuffed" flower and to the side was a gorgeous display of flowers, some champagne and cake to celebrate with me. I laid down on the bed for a few minutes to try to rest so I could spend some time with my boyfriend, but as I laid down, he started to put the things away as he wanted me to rest. I just wanted him to lay with me and hold me for a bit and then I would have the energy to spend some time catching up. Like I said, the expectations of coming home are different when there is more than one living in the home.

I failed to appreciate his care as I should have and he didn't catch on to my needs. When you love someone it seems that you want them to hear the unspoken, but the unspoken is interpreted based on what you know or what you would want. It is always best to try to speak and remember to do it filled with love.

God has the best instructions for loving our spouse. I continue to learn more and more. I hope that I learn quickly before I spin my wheels too long that Torrey doesn't feel the love and care from me that he should.

Our First Christmas

We had our first Christmas together and with our families and it was a great time.

I was a little worried as we had been told by several that the holidays will be a potential for fights because of traditions and family gatherings. Overall we did really well and enjoyed ourselves.

On the 22nd of December, we celebrated with the Larson side where we hosted the event at our house. It was an all day event which is pretty normal for us. We don't seem to do anything in a small scale. Everyone showed up around 10 and we had brunch items and then opened the presents. The present scene was CHAOS and our house was not large enough for the gifts and the paper that was flying and we all cut back this year. We let the kids go first and then we let them go play with their gifts while the adults opened theirs.

Once we were done with all the gifts, we sat and visited for a while and then the Bustamante's came over to join us for some fellowship and games while the little people rested. We then had a nice meal together in the basement. It was so exciting that we all fit together. It isn't your typical dining room, but it worked and we enjoyed being together as a family.

After supper, Torrey had all the kids gather around for the Christmas Story where they were able to be actively involved as their were presents to open in connection with the story, it was something we purchased at our Weekend t0 Remember called "What does God want for Christmas?" by FamilyLife. It was so well done and really hit home. Torrey was having a hard time finishing it as it brought him to tears. The little kids did so well with it as did the adults.

After the Story was over, we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus and lit some candles that were arranged in the shape of a cross and Christopher helped us blow them out.

On Christmas Eve, Torrey and I went over to Mom and Dad's and had our oyster stew. Mom made Potato Soup with Dumplings for Torrey in case he didn't like oysters. After we ate, we finally got around to play pinochle which I was promised on March 4 (it was a trick to get me to my parents so he could propose). The game was a little confusing as I had never played and when I tired to take the trick (or whatever) my husband kept uping the bid, so mom and I did end up busting, but I had to try the card swapping to really get the hang of this. I am far from getting it, but will keep trying as my husband loves to play games.

On Christmas Day we hung out at home preparing to go over to his brother's home for Christmas. We had a very nice meal and played some games with them as well. We missed seeing his other brother and his family, but we did go visit the kids which was nice. I hadn't met his oldest niece nor had we really had time to meet or hold our Great nephew. We hope to see them again soon.

Torrey and I did our Christmas on the 27th. We had decided that we didn't want to do it on Christmas day as we want our family to celebrate Christ's birth first and foremost. Torrey woke up on the 27th and suggested we do it on that day as it is the anniversary of our first date. I thought it was very sweet and something that we can share and talk about with our kids (hopefully) someday.

We had a great season and it was so much fun to really be able to focus on Jesus as well as focus on each group separately.

Date Day

Torrey planned a very fun day for us. He has been wanting to take me somewhere (which we still haven't been able to do yet) and he was not able to do it on this day as there was something that was on the schedule that I do not recall at this moment, I think he had to work.

We went and had lunch at Famous Dave's which is one of our favorite places to eat. I am not typically a Bar-b-Que fan, but their's is GOOD. From there we stopped by Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory as Torrey was to start working there and we were checking in to see what was up and he got me some yummy chocolate that we took with us to see the movie Bella (If you haven't seen it, you must).

After that we went and painted. I have wanted to take him to Made By Me forever and just hadn't gotten there. I am thinking that I am loosing my creative juices though as everytime I have gone this year I have not liked what I have done.

Torrey really seemed to enjoy himself even though I think he started with a harder piece. When you do plates, it is hard to really mess them up too much, but when you do figurines, you have to be careful.

It was a fun time together that really opened my eyes to some things. As were were sitting there painting, we were sitting next to a couple of ladies that were having a day out. It was distressing to listen to their conversation though as they were sitting there talking about how they love their husbands yet at the same time they were disrespecting them so much that it made me sad. I told Torrey that I never wanted him to have to be concerned about how I represent him publicly. I know I am not perfect, but I would never want him to feel that I would belittle him in such a fashion. It also opened my eyes to how I have come across in the past and still continue to do so. I am a work in progress and I am thankful for the glimpses that God can give to us through other people.

We had a great day out and it was something I was able to use to help me seek God more fully in how I can care for my husband better.

Where are the stainless drinks?

The fabulous man that I married is a kid to the core, so you would think that I would understand him since I have loved kids since I was much younger. It, however, appears that when it comes to dealing with my husband I lack the understanding that I tend to have with children.

Marriage is absolutely a sanctification process and I embrace it greatly even though it is hard.

I have been doing a lot of reading about how men desire respect and time with their wife and how that means very different things to men than it does to women. I am trying to use what I learn in the real life situation I am living and it has been helpful. I think I need to read faster though as I tend to read the pages I need after I have already messed up in my dealings with my husband and friend.

Just last night I got all over him because he had broke something and it really was not a big deal at all. I was actually more upset that he could have hurt himself, but it came out as if I cared about the item that was broken.

Today, on the way to work, I read about how men feel that when they talk they get in trouble and when they stay quiet they get in trouble, so they often do the less talking because it warrants less trouble. Well, Torrey didn't want to tell me about what he broke last night because he was afraid. I do not desire my husband to be afraid to talk to me.

We were able to have a good conversation (from my point of view) about how I need him to tell me things because if he won't tell me something so small, it causes insecurity in me because I wonder what else he isn't telling me. He understood and so......

Today, he calls me to tell me he spilled his drink on a doily of mine and ruined it. I mentioned a few things that he should have done and started down the path of scolding when I realized, He is NOT my child and he did exactly what I asked him to do so I need not thwart what I asked of him.

From this we both determined that we need to get some better containers to aide against spilling since he loves his sugar drinks and we have had a few spill already and need to figure out how to get him what he needs yet protect the home.

All this to say, we are both learning and loving each other through it, but seriously...Where are the sugar drinks that have no coloring?

Marriage

You can never be fully prepared for marriage even if you are desperately seeking the face of Jesus and direction from Him.

I don't think I was unprepared for marriage to be hard. I have seen many marriages throughout my life and the good and bad times, but I did honestly think that the first year would be much different than it has been.

God is working in our lives as we continue to be a giant mirror to each other. It is hard to see your sin so blatantly staring back at you. I have no idea how people make it through marriage without a wonderful Heavenly Father to guide you and support you.

We have had some great and joyful moments in our marriage so far as well as some very hard times were we have had to learn to lay down our self for the other. Ultimately every struggle we have is a result of our selfishness and pride. It is so sad how much we love ourselves to the detriment of those around us.

We continue to press on because we know that God has something bigger than us in store and we want to be a part of His plan.