Thursday, December 20, 2012

8-9 December 2012

Dearest Jesus, Turner, Madilyne & Jordan,

Well,  I have felt that I have been pregnant, but have been way too afraid to be hopeful.  The night after the memorial tea that I had for Madilyne and Jordan, we went out to get my stuff to play soccer.  I didn't want to risk playing if I was pregnant, so tested that night.  I used a cheap dollar Tree test and was certain there was a very FAINT line, but thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.  I woke up very early in the morning and took another test that would spell it out for me.  Well, it spelled out the word PREGNANT.  I crawled back into bed and told Daddy and he just started to weep as did I.  We are so excited and anxious at the same time.  We will be doing a lot of casting or cares on the Lord during this time.  I know there will be many others praying with us on this journey and we WANT them all.

Turner has been telling us for weeks that we were going to have another baby soon and that there would be two, one of each.  Well, he was right about the soon.  We will see if he is right about the two.

As I had mentioned that the 8th was a memorial to my girls, the 9th was Child loss awareness day.  It was so nice to have hope at a time we are missing and remembering you both.  It is nice to have something exciting to end the year.  If this pregnancy goes well, we will be holding them right after Jordan's 2nd year in heaven and right before Madilyne's 1st year in heaven.  Another hope that we had.

Jesus, thank you for this gift and opportunity.  We plead with you so much that this precious baby can be in our arms, alive and well.  We know that you will be there to hold us up if that isn't our plan, but we are hopeful that you plan matches what we are hoping in.  Hold us up, Jesus.  There will be moments of panic and concern as with all pregnancies.  Help me be a better pregnant mommy this time around.  The hormones are torturous and I am not very nice.  I want to be a better light to my family this time around.

 We love all our children and we are excited to welcome another one into our lives, no matter what the plan will prove to be.


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