Monday, October 1, 2012

1 October 2012

Dear Lena,

Yesterday/Today is one month from when we were excited to meet you and instead found out that you had so quickly left us. 

I have had many moments where I have ached desperately for you, but I want you to know that I also am so glad that you have been able to be with Jesus.  My heart has been able to be totally comforted knowing that you are there with Him. 

Mommy was shopping with Turner today taking back more special clothing that was intended for you, and as we were walking, I saw so many things that I would have loved to been able to buy and put on you.  The hardest thing to deal with has been all the hopes and dreams for you that I have had to put to rest.  That is a hard thing for a mommy to have to do for their precious children.

You would be very proud of your brother.  He has provided us so much joy during our time of suffering for you.  He is very good to remind us that you are with Jesus.  As I was walking through Khol's I said that is was so sad that you didn't get to be with us and I wish you were alive.  He looked at me and said, "Mommy, she is still alive.  You told me she was alive with Jesus.  We got to see her in the hospital and give her to Jesus.  That is happy, Mommy."  Your brother is right in every way.  You are more ALIVE now than you ever were. 

Mommy will always miss you and love you.  You are my precious princess.



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