Thursday, October 18, 2012

15 October 2012

Dear Lena,

Tonight we sat together in your room and lit a candle for you and your sister.  We had some family time where we prayed and thanked God for your little life and the joy you brought to us.  It is amazing how much we grew to love you without ever having known you in life outside of the womb.

I think of you oh so much and sometimes find myself dreaming of what could have been.  I don't let the thoughts depress me, but it is fun to think of what I might have dressed you in, what you would be doing today, how much you would weigh, how much your brother would be adoring you now.

Turner David loves you so much.  He talks about you a lot and carries your picture around with him everywhere.  He always asks if he can have more if he ever looses it.

After we were done praying, Turner and I stayed in your room and played and worked to set it up for our Family Moments room.  While we were in there, Turner took Madi and pretended it was you again.  He had you sit with him and play and then he took you to the swing and "spread you out", which means covered you up.  He then sang to you and pushed you in the swing.  He would have been such a great big brother to you and my heart has its greatest sadness when I think about that lost opportunity for him and for you.

Hug Jordan and Jesus for us.

I love you forever,


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