Thursday, October 30, 2008


Well, my little man was just taken from my room to be circumcised and I am sitting here trying to not cry as I know how it will hurt him.

This has been such a surreal adjustment for Torrey and I. We just keep looking at this adorable little boy and thinking that someone is going to come in at any moment and take him from us because he isn't really ours.

The adjustment to the word Mommy has been different too. I keep referring to myself as Nette to my little boy. I have a whole new title that I have to grow into and remember.

My favorite thing so far in caring for my little boy is the nursing. I wasn't sure what to expect there, but it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. Once I got the nurses from trying to force things and had them leave me alone and do it our way, we got it all figured out. He is still a little sluggish with it, but he has had some congestion and then just the first day they apparently are sluggish. He will be less interested today as well since I am hurting him with a joyful circumcision.

He was weighed last night and has dropped to 8lbs 9oz, but they said he is still doing well. He is a little jaundice and they said that they might do the lights today. He nursed much better through the night so hopefully he will flush it out and not need the lights.

I am doing better this morning as I got a little more rest than I have had so far. It was still interrupted, but I didn't mind it too much. It is hard to move from sleeping to sitting and then standing with the incision, so he has to cry a bit before I can get to him, but I am thinking that to be good right now as he has phlegm in his lungs since it wasn't pushed out since he didn't have a vaginal birth. He scared me yesterday (fortunately while the nurse was in here) and started to choke on his phlegm and couldn't get a good breathe and turned blue.

My little man just came back and he is all calm so that helps a lot. Found out that he does have a narrow airway like his mommy which is causing some of the slowness with nursing. I also had them check to see if he was a little tongue tied like his Daddy, Uncle and Grandpa. He is a little but Dr. Yeash doesn't think that is the problem with nursing but will watch in to see how he does as he gets a little older. Might need to be clipped but we will see.

My little man Logan reassured me yesterday that he is okay with little Turner and still loves his Nette. He has had a hard time thinking of Nette as having a little baby. I have been his one and only for so long. He has always been good about sharing as he has the biggest heart for God and others. He brought Turner one of his own blankets yesterday for him. This little man would give the shirt off his back.

I found out later that my husband had wanted to see the circumcision. I should have figured that but he didn't say anything the night before when he left so didn't mention that Yeash was doing it in the morning. I felt so bad and apologized profusely. Next time I will know.

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