My life has felt like the Song "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North, for so very long. I know that I will have days that I feel like this for the rest of my life, but I finally feel that I am seeing MY song rise from the ashes now.
I am definitely being stretched each day I choose to take a new step to find myself rooted more in Jesus. I can tell you I am uncomfortable, but I am finding Joy. God is calling me out of my safety net and asking me to step out and show the love of Jesus to those around me. I can thank my precious Madilyne for helping me see the beauty in a new day, to feel the love of a precious soul. I want the people that I interact with from day to day know that they are loved. I want them to know I am here to do life with them. I am here to get down and dirty. I am here to be happy and sad with them. I AM HERE. What a precious gift this is. It is something that can so easily be overlooked and taken advantage of until it isn't there and you feel alone.
In my last few weeks, I have had the joy of caring for a mommy and her kids while her husband is out of town and she is worn from being pregnant, the pleasure of trying to encourage a friend that feels like they are at their wits end in their relationship and just needed some refreshment, the pleasure of caring for a precious little baby that is new to this world and having a hard time adjusting, the happiness of watching my son play with 2 dogs and seeing him have the joy of a dog in his life again, the bliss of watching a daddy bathe his newly placed foster, soon to be official, daughter, the fun of planning some family events for our church, the creative fun of decorating for an upcoming event at church, the interesting task of creating craft projects for various ages, the fun of making beautiful butterflies made from foot prints with my son and my friend and her daughter, and also the opportunity to prepare a home for a baby once again (not ours - but pray with us).
Have these moments been easy, NOT AT ALL. Some of these people I don't know at all, or don't know well. If you know me at all, you know this is not an area that I like to be. But what is great, when I am weak, He is strong (2 Cor 12:10 -I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.) Since He called me to do these things, He has provided me the strength physically and emotionally to handle it. I can't say that tears didn't roll later or that I didn't have to at:tack the desire to envy, or sit and sulk. Again, my God is big. He allowed the sadness to be there without going into areas of sin.
I am so excited to see how God will continue to work. I hope that others will join me in honoring Jesus (and my daughter) by remembering that if we are comfortable, we might need to shake things up a bit. Reach out and love someone. Everyone has moments where they feel worn. Everyone has moments where they feel like life would be easier if Jesus would come back NOW, but we can rise from those moments of being WORN and find the BEAUTY.
Thank you, Lord for a great and hard week. I feel refreshed and exhausted, but oh so loved, hopeful and filled with Joy.